A Cut and a Slice

Once Glen learned that he was scheduled for spinal fusion surgery, he insisted I give him a hair cut so he wouldn't have to deal with that little chore any time during his recovery period.  Turns out we didn't find out that surgery was on for sure until the night before the surgery.

I have been priding myself on doing a fair job on his hair lately, considering I've not had a minute's worth of instruction on how to cut hair.  The price is right, so Glen keeps coming back for more.

After this latest debacle, perhaps he'll be seeking a more experienced barber in the very near future.

Here's what happened...

As mentioned previously, it was the night before surgery, it was very late, I had my mind on many other things, and it soon became apparent that I wasn't giving the job at hand my full attention.  As usual, I had put guard #6 on the clippers which was set at the lowest setting.  We used to use guard #5, but decided that one cut his hair a little too short and have liked the longer setting much better.

I ran the guard all around the bottom of his head and then set the big clippers down so I could use the small trimmer to clean up the edges of his hair.  As I was doing that, I noticed some longer hairs at the crown and grabbed the big clippers once again to make a swipe or two up near the crown to cut that little patch of longer hair.

With the big clippers in hand, I placed it down a little behind his ear and ran it clear up to the crown of his head.  I couldn't believe all the hair that was falling as I made that swipe.  Then, when all the hair had settled, I couldn't believe what my eyes beheld!  There was not a hair left on his head where the clippers had just cut!

It quickly dawned on me that after I'd used the clippers the first time, I'd removed the guard before setting the clippers down.  Not remembering that I'd removed the guard, I had grabbed the clippers to make that one last swipe. With the clippers set on the lowest setting, I'd basically scalped my husband.

Good thing Glen was instantly forgiving and reassured me that it didn't look that bad. Keep in mind he was saying that while looking at himself head on in the mirror. I told him he should take a look at the back of his head and he'd change his tune about it not looking so bad because it looked hideous! I was just sick about it!

I quickly went to work trying to blend in the hair around that huge bald spot, but there was no disguising it. The poor man had been scalped by his wife and there was nothing I could do to fix it. So, with much sadness and great frustration, I put on the #1 guard and did my "blending" with that all around the whole bottom part of his head. I've never seen Glen's hair so short. We were tempted to just buzz cut his whole head. 

Let's just say there are lessons to be learned here and some things to be thankful for:

1. Don't cry over spilled milk--or, in this case, a shaved spot on your head. Hair does grow back, albeit not quickly enough in this case.

2. Forgiveness is a welcome thing--especially when you do something stupid to somebody else and that somebody has to walk around wearing your stupidity.

3. If you think using guard #5 cuts hair short, try using guard #1.  If you think that is short, try no guard at all.

4. Give thanks this happened right before a convalescent period of time when absolutely no public appearance (except the hospital stay) is required.

5. Appreciate that the need for combing and washing hair becomes unnecessary while recuperating when you've had an extremely short hair cut. 

Now on to the actual surgery.

Glen reported to St. Mark's Hospital super early the day after Valentine's Day.  Doesn't he look cute in his hospital gown and hospital slippers?

Notice how happy he is as he's going into surgery. I, personally, was very happy to see that cap go on his head to cover the mess I'd made of his hair...

And here he is after surgery as he's eating his first meal of broth, jello and pudding. YUM!

Here's the damage that was done to the man when the surgeon sliced his throat. The bandage must be kept on and clean and dry for a week. The nurse and the anesthesiologist both told Glen that they were happy to see that he has a skinny neck as that would make the surgery a little easier.

His neck is not nearly as skinny now with all the swelling going on.

Glen has struggled with being able to eat. His throat hurts so much all the time and it makes swallowing very difficult. He finds that standing up to eat helps the food and pills go down a little easier.

Saturday was a red-letter day when he got cleaned up and even consented to shave. (It's pretty sad that his facial hair was growing faster than the hair on his head.)

Nothing makes the man happier these days than eating a Popsicle. It's the most soothing to his throat. He's been eating a little better and a little more each day and is getting his appetite back.

We'll know he's back to normal when he can handle his favorite snack--popcorn--going down his sore, scratchy, hard-to-swallow throat.